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Today was our first "official" family therapy visit. Brent, Tamy, Becker, Parker and Clay made the trip to Tulsa to meet with Susanna and her therapist, Mr. Grey McKellar. The boys were delighted with family therapy. For them, it meant playing in the room next door filled with many new things to do while their parents talked with the therapist. It took them awhile to figure out that they were being watched the entire time via a camera and large viewing screen. (It was great fun for the boys to go back and forth and see each other playing on the monitor.) After Daddy & Mama talked with Grey privately, Susanna came to join us.
Susanna is so happy living in the RAD Unit. She says that she really likes the outside yard with large play structures. Yesterday, she even got to play in the snow. Today, she helped decorate for Valentine's Day. She shows no sign of missing her family and appears to be perfectly content. It is good to know that she is joyful to be where God wants her. When we got through talking with Susanna, Grey sent her to go visit with her brothers in the next room. They had an opportunity to visit and play a few games together before it was time for us all to leave.
As Susanna's Mama, I am not sure if I will ever get used to the idea she is happy without us. I know that she is and has been since the first day she left three months ago. I just have trouble understanding and accepting that she has never given us her heart. How I wish things were different. I wish she wanted me to invest in her life, give her my heart and let me truly be her mother. She doesn't want this. In fact, when I attempt to do these things, it only makes her behavior worse. So instead of saying, "Have a nice day", I must say, "Have a day." This way I am not telling her what kind of day to have and she has nothing to react to. Seems odd, doesn't it? This is just a fact of life with our precious daughter. I do have hope though. God has lead us to a wonderful facility with fabulous people who are trained to work with children like Susanna. At present, they are going to take her off her medication to let the "real" Susanna show up so they can see how to best help her. This is one of many first steps towards her healing. Any step forward will be considered an answer to prayer.
"And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left." ~Isaiah 30:21
